How a Toxic Relationship Can Affect Children
If you’re in a toxic relationship life can be extremely challenging, but everything gets even more complicated if you have children. They can feel the constant tension and they often struggle more than you think. What’s worse is that you might feel that you can’t end the relationship because the children need to have both parents, right?
Well, that’s not always true. While a two-parent family can influence your children’s development in a positive way, if the parents have a toxic relationship, that can affect them immensely. Read on to find out about that, and learn what’s better for you and your kids. Remember, if you really can’t put up with your partner’s toxic ways any longer, don’t hesitate to seek professional help when it comes to legal separation or divorce.
Children can feel the tension
Many people believe that children don’t know anything about your relationship, but that’s not true. They can see and feel the tension between you and your partner, and they can sense when there’s something wrong. As a result, they may start to act out.
If you notice that your child has become moody, you should talk to them. Try to find out what’s going on in their minds. What you see as a ‘moody’ behavior could actually be anxiety or depression manifesting. This is why it’s important to be aware of your child’s feelings and listen to his or her concerns. Talking to a therapist can help you understand your child better, and it will help you be a better parent, too.
You may face difficulties getting along with your spouse
When you have children together, you have to make sure that you co-parent well. You don’t always have to get along with each other, but you do need to figure out how you can work together for the sake of your children. However, if you’re in a toxic relationship, this can prove to be difficult at times and your partner may not be interested in changing anything.
If that’s the case, you should seek help from a family law attorney. They will help you understand your rights and present them in court. Then, you’ll be able to separate from your partner. This doesn’t mean that there won’t be any problems with co-parenting, but it will at least help you avoid the worst of them.
You may have to take care of your kids on your own
This happens quite often in toxic relationships. Your spouse can choose to walk out on the marriage without considering the consequences for the children, meaning they decide to leave and take everything you have together away. If this happens it can mean that you may face some serious challenges as a single parent. It can be extremely difficult at first, but with time, you will learn how to manage things on your own and how to provide a better home life for your kids.
As long as you have positive support around you everything will be alright and don’t hesitate to ask for help. The same goes for parents in non-toxic relationships, if you have friends and family who are interested in taking care of your kids once in a while, don’t hesitate to ask for their help. They will probably be happy to assist you!
You may have to face financial problems
If you’re in a toxic relationship, you’ll probably be facing financial problems. That means that you will have to adjust your budget and find ways to save money, otherwise, you won’t be able to support your children. You can start looking for ways to avoid wasting money, for example, you can opt for a landline if you don’t need a cell phone, or you can cancel your cable TV subscription. You can also try to make more food at home rather than eating out, and you can drive your own car instead of renting one. These simple changes can help you save some money, but you should also look for ways to increase your income. To do that, you could spend more time at home and find freelance jobs online, or you could even start your own business.
What to do when your children are affected by your toxic relationship
There are several things that you can do if you know that your children are being affected by your toxic relationship.
- Listen to them – Don’t dismiss their concerns, be open to their needs and try to understand them better. If you notice that they don’t feel comfortable talking with you, consider seeing a counselor or therapist together.
- Help them understand – If they’re having a hard time in school, if they’re not doing well at home, or if they’re experiencing some sort of problem, they might feel that it’s their fault. Try to explain to them that this has nothing to do with them, your relationship with your spouse might be toxic, but that doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with them.
- Spend as much time with them as possible – Make sure that they can always call you if they need help. If you have more than one child, try to spend the same amount of time with each of them. This will help them feel more secure and give them the feeling that you care about them and that you love them.
It’s safe to say that most people want the same thing and that is a healthy relationship with someone who is the one for you. Sometimes, it really happens, but other times, it turns into a toxic environment for everyone involved. Your desire to see the best in people and wish for the best in every situation may blind you for a while if you find yourself in a toxic relationship. You should know that you are not alone and there are plenty of ways to leave the relationship. It is the best thing you can do in order for the relationship so it doesn’t affect your children in the long run. There are many things that you can do to help your children and yourself so you can overcome this situation together. So if you find yourself in a toxic relationship, gather up all the strength you have and leave, before it’s too late for everyone involved.