There’s no responsibility in the life of a man that can measure up to that of being a father. Regardless of whether you look at it as your responsibility or your legacy, you have a chance to set some things right and, once you’re gone, leave something good in this world. This is only possible with a good upbringing.

Now, there are many times in your life when being a parent will be easy. Everything will run smoothly: your kids will behave well, excel at school, and they’ll seem pretty straightforward with you. Then, there are some times when, despite things seeming fine, you will be able to sense that something’s wrong.

Here are four ways to help you find out why your kid is acting suspiciously.

1. Install a spy app

If you believe that you don’t have much time to find out and that you need solid proof before you take any action, you could always start with the heavy artillery. You can install a spy app on their device right away.

Is this completely legal? Absolutely! You, as a parent or a guardian, have a full legal right to spy on your kid. Whether or not this is moral or the right course of action can be seen as arguable, but when it comes to the legality, you’re in the clear.

Not only that, as a parent, you can just take their device under some false pretense and return it in an hour after you’ve installed an app. Let’s be honest about it: kids underestimate our tech-savviness all the time, and they’ll never suspect a thing.

This is also a simple solution because you can easily find one online, and with so many free options out there, you don’t even have to overspend on this idea. Just check out Techopedia’s ranking of the best free spy apps, pick something from the list, and install it.

According to Tech Expert Krishi Chowdhary, this way, you’ll be able to see everything from social media activity and browsing history to their calls.

This is also where the most worrying part about their social lives plays in your favor. They are always on their phones. Everything they do is digital. You will find out more from this spy app than by following them around for days and days.

2. Observe behavioral changes

You need to be very careful when it comes to your kids’ behavior. A change in their behavior can be an indicator of something funny going on. Sure, they could just be going through a phase in their development, but it’s completely possible that there’s something more sinister at play.

The first thing you’re looking for is secrecy. They turn off their monitor or hide their screen whenever you walk into the room. Sure, it could be something almost innocent (like some adult content that we all watched when we were kids), but it could also be something else.

You will also notice a change in their sleep pattern. Maybe it’s their worries that keep them at night, but maybe they’re just using the time when you’re not awake for something else.

They could also be lying to you. Not all kids are as good at deception, and there are instances when it’s really easy to catch on. If you notice that they’re being dodgy more often than before, there might be a serious reason behind this.

Lastly, watch out for concerning physical signs. Maybe they have bruises or signs of physical altercations. Sure, all of it can be innocent, but it will also be easy to explain. If it’s not, you might have a reason for a concern.

3. Consider major events and changes in their life

There are a lot of scenarios where major events happen due to external factors that you can pinpoint as a cause of their sudden shift in behavior. If these two events align, then you probably know what’s going on. At the very least, you know what happens.

Don’t be too quick to dismiss this as just a phase. These phases are often circumstances in which they’re more susceptible to external stimuli. Perhaps they’re being bullied at school or have trouble adjusting to a new setting. This often happens after a relocation.

Maybe it’s something you did. Maybe you and your spouse are having more arguments than usual, or these arguments may have seeped into other aspects of your life. Maybe you’re in a new relationship, and you believe that the fact that the relationship is “not ideal” is your private thing that won’t reflect on them. In reality, a toxic relationship can be devastating for children.

One of the most concerning factors is new people in their lives. Do they have a new girlfriend/boyfriend or a new circle of friends? This is a close-knit group that has their ear and their confidence. It’s people they trust and people they’re, at the moment, more likely to talk to than to their parents.

If any or all of these events happen at the same time, it will be nearly impossible to miss these things if you’re just paying enough attention. Each of these events can act as a trigger and a catalyst for a shift in their behavior. This doesn’t mean that you have no reason to worry.

4. Just talk to them

The last thing is actually the best thing you can do in this scenario. You just need to talk to them. Now, while this sounds simple, there are so many steps where you can go wrong.

First, you need to have the right approach. Tell them that you’ve noticed a change in their behavior and that you’re concerned with what’s going on. Tell them that, as their parent, you worry that they may have a problem that they’re too timid or embarrassed to come forward with and that you would rather talk to someone else. Explain that you’re there for them if they decide to share their concerns.

They’re bound to be pleased by the fact that you’ve noticed.

Second, it’s absolutely paramount that you explain that they won’t get into too much trouble if they’re honest and straightforward with you. You can’t give them cart-blanche to tell you that they’ve killed a person or tried hard drugs and that you still won’t ground them, but promise them some leniency no matter what it is. Why would they tell you anything if there’s nothing for them in it?

Third, be ready to listen. Don’t interrupt them. Even if you have something really important to say, wait until they’ve finished. Only after you’ve heard them out should you tell them what you think.

If you do this right, they won’t fear to come to you every time they have a problem. If you botch it, they might not.

If you find out in time, you can prevent a big problem

There are a lot of scenarios where finding out in time can prevent a huge problem in your kid’s life. Sure, you want to trust them, but the fact is that they’re inexperienced and lack the toolset to make the proper call every single time. You learn the best from your mistakes, but some mistakes are too expensive, and you can make them only once. Here, you have a list of both invasive and non-invasive methods you can use to find out the truth. It’s your call which of them you’ll use.