4 minute read
Set on the Meramec River in Steelville, Missouri, Garrison’s River Resort is one of those places that sounds like a good idea. Float trips, rustic cabins, a weekend unplugged with friends—what could go wrong? As it turns out, a lot. And while we expected rough edges, what we didn’t expect was to leave feeling like we survived something.
AC Failures and Zero Accountability
Yes, it was hot. Yes, AC units can give out. But when multiple cabins lost air conditioning during a heatwave, you’d hope the staff would step up. They didn’t. Guests were left to figure it out themselves. Some went out and bought fans. Others gave up entirely and slept in their cars with the engine running just to survive the night.
There was no backup plan, no apologies, and certainly no offers to help. Garrison’s treats the cabins like you’re renting someone’s toolshed—if something breaks, it’s your problem.
The Silver Fox: A Case Study in Low Effort
We were booked in a Silver Fox cabin, which has four near-identical units. Each one came with two beds, a fridge, a small window, and a wall AC unit. That’s it. They also came with a rule sheet straight out of a passive-aggressive parent handbook. You’re expected to clean everything before leaving, take out your trash, and not rearrange anything.
Which would be mildly annoying if the place were spotless to begin with—but it wasn’t. One of the beds had visible dirt on it. None of the units had hand soap. No floor mats. No towel hooks. No towels at all. We brought our own linens, thankfully, but the lack of basic amenities made it feel like you were squatting in someone’s garage, not staying in a paid cabin.
Cleanliness? Not Their Thing
You’d think a place so obsessed with checkout rules would take cleaning seriously. Think again. The bedding looked like it hadn’t been washed in a while, and surfaces were visibly dirty. No soap in the bathrooms. No bathmats to keep you from slipping in the shower. No effort whatsoever to create a comfortable experience.
It’s as if the owners have never spent a night in their own cabins—or maybe they have and just don’t care.
What to pack for Garrison’s River Resort
If you’re going anyway—and honestly, the float trip is fun—here’s a checklist of what you’ll need to make it through:
- A portable fan (or two) – [link]
- Extension cords – [link]
- All your bedding
- Bath and beach towels
- Hand soap and shower essentials
- Disinfecting wipes or spray
- Shower mat – [link]
- Towel hooks or clips – [link]
Basically, pretend you’re camping in a shed that might have electricity.
Final Verdict: Would I stay at Garrison’s River Resort again?
Garrison’s River Resort has potential. The river access is great. The float trip is fun. If you’re with a solid group, you’ll laugh your way through most of the nonsense. But the accommodations are dirty, poorly maintained, and feel more like an afterthought than a hospitality business. Would I stay at Garrison’s River resort again? Probably not, but I would pay to float again, because that process was smooth and mostly enjoyable.
Go for the river, not the room—and bring everything you need to survive, because they won’t provide even the basics.
⭐ Garrison’s River Resort – My Rating
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Cleanliness: ★☆☆☆☆
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Customer Service: ★☆☆☆☆
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Float Trip Experience: ★★★★☆
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Cabin Amenities: ★☆☆☆☆
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Overall: ★★☆☆☆
